New paradigm

If we are seeking a lover or relationship to make us happy ...
Then we are going to be disappointed
Over and over and over again

Whenever we are emotionally upset
We will see the cause of our pain and discomfort
As being caused by someone or something external to us...

We will see the problem as being the fault of our partner ...
Whose actions did not meet our expectations
Whose words did not fill the hole in our heart

We will see the solution as being our lover needs to change
So we can once again start feeling good
About ourselves

But we will never find permanent happiness here
Because there is nobody on this planet who can fulfil that role...
For it is our job to make ourselves happy

Only we can love ourselves enough
To keep us happy day in, day out
Moment to moment...
And finally know peace

Just as our partner is not here to make us happy
We are not here to make our partner happy

This patterning is based on fear
Because if we are giving someone the power to make us happy...
Then we are also giving them the power to take it away

So now we are aware of the patterning
How do we loosen our grip on codependency ? ....

We do what empowers us as individuals
We do what brings us joy
We follow our peace
We speak our truth
We honour ourselves

We have no expectations

We don't get defensive
We don't get reactive
We don't blame
Shame or criticise

We understand that whatever our partner does and says
Is a reflection on them...
Not on us

There will always be moments
When one or the other is feeling depleted of self love
And egos come out to play ...
Recognizing the trigger is our opportunity to choose love ...

To offer a safe space
To stand strong in our power
To be the calm in the storm
To remember our human journey

To respond respectfully
With acceptance
With honour
And with grace

For once our own love tank is filled
We have an excess of love to give away
Without needing anything in return
Exactly for moments like these...

So we can lift our beloved up
Encouraging them to open their wings once again
Rising together as equals
In freedom and love

This is the New Earth
This is the paradigm of conscious relationships
This is the shift that heals humanity
This is the love that changes the world

So let's love
In peace
And be free


Karen Star